Insecurity; if channeled properly, can create a force to be reckoned with. The primary yet unspoken motivation source in business success: Insecurity.
What’s the unspoken primary motivation source for massive success? No one ever talks about it, let alone knows about it; it’s insecurity. The bigger the insecurity, the larger the success.
I think it started back around 9 years old. I was living in the small rural farm town of Hampshire, IL. No stop lights in town, just a 4 way stop. I was on the couch around bedtime when my life changed with what I saw on the television screen: It was my father being handcuffed and walked into a police car on the Chicago News leading story.
I hadn’t seen my father for several weeks (which was common during my youth), but something seemed weird at that time when he was gone a little longer than usual. Now I know why he was gone, he was arrested for kidnapping a mafia guy for a loan gone bad among other horrible crimes too.
I still remember that day like it was yesterday. Im 35 years old now, but that moment is so crystal clear vivid in my mind to this day. The temperature of my living room. The couch I was on. The piercing sound of my mom crying and little baby brother screaming.
That day changed my life forever.
What came of that after, we’re years of poverty, depression, health issues & deep insecurity.
I had gotten obese in my youth. I had gotten very depressed, sitting in the back of each classroom all of elementary school and high school. I had dark raccoon eyes because I developed bad insomnia all of those years, averaging about 3-4 hours of sleep per night. The pure shock of my dads incarceration left my system in shock. That shock feeling to my system still really hasn’t left.
I remember sitting in the back of each class, hoping for dear life that the teacher wouldn’t call on me. I didn’t want to be called on because of my dark raccoon eyes, because of how fat I had gotten with my tight clothes, because I didn’t read any of the homework material the night before and, because I was just straight out insecure.
Years later, dealing with other crazy things with family and health issues. I didn’t realize this, but all the weird health issues I was going through in my early 20’s to mid 30’s was chronic Lyme disease. I was having trouble breathing, severe air hunger, severe fatigue, neurological issues on occasion where I would slur my words etc.
As I sit here on my desk as a self-made multi-millionaire in the junk removal industry and in crypto, I wonder and ask myself now, “How did I seriously make it here? How was this possible with all the craziness that happened to me in my life thus far?”
There was one thing I noticed, especially in the last few years. I realized after serious self-introspection and self-evaluation, I realized that the reason why I was so motivated was by a shocking and revealing founding; I was incredibly insecure.
I was insecure about being broke when I was a kid.
When my dad was in prison locked up for kidnapping, it left my mom in a hard spot to try and raise her three boys on her own. We went from apartment to grand-parents house which was 45 mins away from our school, to another hotel in another town, and back and forth most of my childhood years.
I couldn’t go on school field trips. I was too embarrassed to tell the kids in class why I couldn’t go. I kept having to make up a lie. Same reason with the teachers asking for my address to send out a report card. I kept having to think of a new lie each time. It was getting tiresome and wore me out at an early age.Â
I was insecure of being broke all the time
I was insecure about being fat and ugly.
As a child and teenager, I was messed up mentally. The trauma of what happened with my father being locked up and the chaotic running around to different places to live really messed me up. Throughout that time, I developed severe insomnia, anxiety, depression & obesity.
I never had a kiss in school high school. Never got invited to any parties. I just sat in the back of the class starting at the clock – and counted down the seconds, which felt like hours for ever second that passed.
I was insecure of being out of shape and unattractive.
I’m 35 now. No longer that obese shy social awkward kid in the back of the classroom. I’ve had so many crazy things so far in my life. The positive side-effect of this? You become very thick skinned and numb after a while (which is not entirely a bad thing).
Business failures:
I was insecure when my first internet startup failed when I was in college. I was embarrassed on national tv by OkCupid CEO Sam Yagan. He said my site was awful to millions of people when I was featured on a MTV documentary.
Oddly enough years later, I ran into Mr. Yagan in another state out of all places (at a 4th of July Event.) I asked him if he remembered me. It took him a few seconds but they he recognized me. He was shocked to learn that became a self-made multi-millionaire on my own. (No partners, just me.)
And, it wasn’t through internet startups – it was through picking up junk. Â
He invited me to come visit him to talk more about my business at his office. I never took him up on his office, I should have and shouldn’t have let me my ego get to me. What he said on that MTV episode, was right. I appreciated what he did – I learned so much as a business owner.
I was insecure in failing in business.
When you have that much built up extreme anger & and constant insecurity; it can lead down several interesting paths. Either one extreme path that is detrimental and possibly permanent damage, or, the complete opposite direction (intense drive and motivation that’s unmatched.)
Insecure with my weight, insecure with my looks, insecure with my family situation, insecure with my poverty, insecure with everything going on in my life.
When you’re discontent with life, you have a lot of fuel to burn. If the fuel is burned properly, a beast is born. When you use survive all that chaos and that insecurity to turn it around for good; the world receives a new masterpiece
When you’re content, that fire isn’t inside of you. You’re just, content. Simple as that. It’s hard to make things happen if that fire (anger & insecurity) isn’t burning inside your soul.
Over the years, I worked on my health. My physical fitness. My mental fitness. My spiritual fitness. It was a slow, arduous and long transformation (but for the first time in my life, I love the person I’ve become and how I overcame all that chaos growing up at my most vulnerable point of my life.)
Now when I approach life, the fear is almost non-existent. I already survived the avalanche (life’s hardships) not once, but multiple times. I came out of that stronger and tougher each time.
I honestly feel fortunate writing this now. I didn’t think I was this tough. I am very happy with the entrepreneur I’ve become.
Insecurity is not a bad thing.
If used properly to channel that insecurity, you won’t only be able to move mountains, but you can move the world. \
Start getting insecure. – Alex
PS- Check out my newest video on our Youtube channel below.
For more unique entrepreneur stories, follow us on www.TalkBenjamin.com and our Youtube channel.
